Learning to Say ‘No’

Many of us struggle to say no- whether it’s at work, with family, friends and or our partners. It can also be challenging to set boundaries and limits with our selves and maintain them, too. For many, the part of us that says yes too much, pushes us to the point of burn out and resentment and feels rather powerless has people pleasing characteristics, most of which were developed out of necessity when we were young.

In order to manage and reduce such tendencies, it’s pivotal that we get to know a bit about this part of us.

Here’s a 5-question journal prompt designed to help you connect with your people-pleasing part in a compassionate, curious way.

1.
“What is your job or role in my life?”
Take a moment to let this part speak. What does it believe its purpose is? How is it trying to help you?

2.
“What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do this job?”
Let the part express its fears. Be curious, not judgmental.

3.
“When did you first take on this job? What was happening in my life at the time?”
Reflect on any early experiences where being agreeable or accommodating felt necessary or safe.

4.
“What emotions or experiences are you trying to protect me from?”
Notice whether this part is shielding you from rejection, conflict, shame, or something else.

5.
“What do you need from me so you don’t have to work so hard?”
Listen gently for what this part might need—your trust, reassurance, boundaries, rest, or inner strength.

You can journal these in a stream-of-consciousness style or write as a dialogue between you and this part (e.g., “I ask: …” / “The part says: …”).

Would you like a printable version or a calming intro visualization to help start the journaling?