Avoidance & Procrastination in High Strivers
Avoidance and procrastination are common psychological behaviors rooted in how we respond to stress, fear, and perceived threat — often unconsciously. High-striving people, despite being ambitious and capable, can be particularly vulnerable to these patterns due to a unique mix of internal and external pressures. Here’s a clear breakdown:
✅ Psychology of Avoidance and Procrastination
1. Avoidance
Avoidance is the act of dodging uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or tasks. It’s a coping mechanism that temporarily reduces anxiety, but reinforces long-term stress.
Rooted in Fear: Often linked to fear of failure, criticism, or not being “good enough.”
Reinforcement Loop: Avoiding a task reduces anxiety in the short term, making avoidance feel rewarding — but the task remains undone, increasing stress later.
2. Procrastination
Procrastination is the delay of tasks despite knowing the consequences. It’s not laziness — it's often emotion regulation.
Present Bias: We prioritize immediate comfort over future reward.
Perfectionism: The fear of not doing something perfectly can delay starting it at all.
Overwhelm: When tasks feel too big, ambiguous, or emotionally charged, we shut down.
Why High-Striving People Are Especially Prone
1. Perfectionism & Impostor Syndrome
Constantly striving for perfection can create an all-or-nothing mindset.
Feeling like a fraud (impostor syndrome) fuels doubt: “If I try and fail, I’ll be exposed.”
2. Fear of Judgment
Many of us internalize social expectations to succeed without failing visibly or without appearing too assertive.
High expectations + fear of failure = avoidance.
3. People-Pleasing & Overcommitment
Saying yes to too much → burnout → avoidance of difficult but important tasks.
Self-worth often tied to others' approval, making it hard to prioritize personal goals.
🧩 Simple, Research-Backed Ways to Combat It
1. Name the Emotion, Not Just the Task
👉 “What am I avoiding feeling right now?”
Labelling emotions reduces their intensity. Often, it’s not the task we fear — it’s the emotion associated with it (e.g. embarrassment, uncertainty, failure).
2. Set “Good Enough” Standards
👉 Try the 80% rule. Aim for done, not perfect.
Perfectionism paralyzes. Letting go of 100% outcomes makes starting easier. Remember: progress > perfection.
3. Use Time Boxing Instead of To-Do Lists
👉 Work for 25 minutes (Pomodoro), then break.
It’s easier to commit to time (“I’ll work for 25 minutes”) than outcome (“I’ll finish this today”). This creates momentum.
4. Self-Compassion Over Criticism
👉 Talk to yourself like a friend.
Research (Kristin Neff, PhD) shows that self-compassion boosts motivation more than self-criticism. Tell yourself: “It’s okay to struggle. Starting is still brave.”
5. Shrink the Task
👉 Break it into absurdly small steps.
For example: “Open the document” is a valid first step. Small wins trigger dopamine and lower resistance.
6. Address Systemic Pressures
👉 Recognize the impact of invisible labor, bias, and expectations.
Sometimes, the overwhelm isn't personal — it's societal. Giving yourself permission to redefine success can reduce avoidance tied to external validation.
Final Thought:
Avoidance and procrastination don’t mean you’re lazy or incapable — they’re usually signs that your nervous system is trying to protect you. Learning to work with your emotions (rather than against them) is the key to breaking free.